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perfetc
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Name: Molly
Birthday: 4/5/1988
Gender: Female
Expertise: Smashing a-la-Jamie, corrupting Tamsters, and generally making the world a better place through my mere existence...
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/2/2004
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| "Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow
creeps in its petty pace from day to day,
to the last syllable of recorded time.
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
the way to a dusty death.
Out, out! Brief candle!
Life is but a walking shadow,
a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more.
It is a tale told by an Idiot:
full of sound and fury, singifying nothing." -Hamlet
I got bored today and researched nihilism on Wikipedia. For those who, like me before today, have only a vague idea about what nihilism is, it's basically a belief that because life has no purpose; it's not worth the effort to do anything more than just survive - if that. It's funny how many people I have encountered recently who have a predominantly nihilistic outlook on life. They honestly see no reason why they should plan for or look forward to any kind of future. I guess I'm just wired differently, but I can't even imagine feeling that way. I can understand not having the desire to join every (or any) charity organization in a feeble attempt to save the world from its many plights, but I would think that sheer ego would cause a person to attempt to work for their own future benefit. I understand that drifting and hanging out is fun right now, but part of growing up is learning to look ahead, right? I'm not saying you have to plan out every stage of your life in advance; of course there will always be things that have to be taken as they come. However, how can you get anywhere if you don't have an idea of where you're headed? At least know that you want to end up somewhere better than where you are. I've cycled through a dozen different intended career paths, but at least I always have some path. Just because I am not 100% certain that my current intended path is where I'll end up doesn't mean that I'm wrong for having one.
C'mon, kids. We've all got to leave NeverNever Land sometime.
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| Hey.
What's up? How ya been? Long time, no entry. Haven't felt like sharing, but that's all about to change. I started writing tonight. Another little project I'll likely never finish, but it's entertaining for what little spare time I have. It's a book, challenging societal rules - largely gender role norms and such - that have been handed down to us without any real rhyme or reason. I think it could develop into something intriguing. Here's the first paragraph of what I have so far:
Ever since I was a twelve-year-old girl, I’ve had the sense
of humor (and many other thought processes) of a thirteen-year-old boy. Despite warnings from society and the mass
media that “that is surely no way to get a man,” I have not changed my ways
yet. In fact, in my challenging of that
which is commonly taken for granted, I have discovered that many of the hard,
fast truths we are made to believe growing up are nothing more than arbitrary
norms, decided upon by stuffy old men in smoke-filled rooms and actually
applying to almost no one. So why don’t
we challenge them? Perhaps we are all
afraid of being labeled as ‘different’ or even the more positively-connotated
‘unique’. After all, you cannot be both
popular and ‘unique’. The 11th
commandment: Thou shalt conform. The
‘unique’ girl always ends up alone, save for a dozen or so cats which will
inevitably eat her body when she dies alone and no one notices her gone until
the neighbors call the police complaining about the smell of rotting
flesh. God forbid.
I know, it's short and could use a lot of revision and elaboration, but does it spark any interest or thoughts?
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| Lights on or off?
That's right, another sex blog. So it wasn't until recently that I started to wonder why some people automatically choose to leave the lights on or off during sex. Personally, I usually stick with whatever the lights were at when the sex was initiated. If they're on, they stay on, if they're off, they stay off. But there are people in this world who want things a certain way, and will go out of their way to make it so. Why? Are lights-off people self-conscious, or are they worried that you might be? Are lights-on people exhibitionists or voyeurs? The presence or absence of light can set the mood for the entire sexual encounter. Lights on automatically puts you in a more pornographic mindset. You've got to put on a good show; make it look as amazing as it feels. That can be a lot of pressure, but it can relieve the pressure of having to make the emotional connection that is necessary in the dark. Plus, it's an instant ego boost because you know part of what is getting your lover off is the sight of your damn sexy body. And don't you forget it. Besides, you then get the added bonus of being able to picture your lover naked whenever you want to. It's a great way to pass the time waiting in lines or during a boring class, trust me on that one. But just because the lights are off doesn't mean that your lover doesn't find you sexy. They may just be more complex about it. Lights off forces you to focus on what's being done rather that who's doing it, but at the same time it can make you focus more intently on the person's feelings and emotions. You don't have all the visual clues to tell whether the other party is enjoying themself. Communication becomes vital. Often, you're not luky enough to be in a situation where you know you're doing the right thing because the other person can't stop screaming your name. The more subtle audible clues become important: ragged breathing, a moan or a grunt. You have to feel their muscles tensing, feel the flush explode across their skin. Feel their nails rake across your shoulders and down your back. People who turn out the lights obviously know how to appreciate details, which means they're bound to focus on those little things that make the difference between good sex and amazing sex.
Whatever way you like it best, lights on or lights off, make the most out of your sexual experiences. Never take for granted the opportunity to see someone completely naked and uninhibited, or to feel a body responding to your touch. With the right attitude, there's no such thing as bad sex.
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| "I'm sorry."
It's funny how two little words can mean so much to people. They can be extremely difficult to say, and not the easiest to hear, either. Why? How can something like words, especially two words as common as 'I'm sorry' wield so much power? Most of the time it's just lip service. People don't really feel sorry. How do you define sorry, anyways? Is it empathy, or is it just acknowledgement of a wrongdoing? And does it really fix anything to hear that phrase? It certainly doesn't for me. That's why I almost never apologize for things. It's not that I don't empathize, or that I don't understand that that exact phrase might be all you want to hear. It just doesn't make sense to me. I hate it when people tell me they're sorry, because sorry isn't an action. You can be sorry all you want, but that doesn't really do anything, does it? It doesn't fix whatever you did wrong. Show me you really know why I'm upset. Acknowledge what you did wrong, and tell me how you'll fix it. That's what I do. It's about solving the problem rather than just stating the obvious. Or telling me what you think I want to hear. People probably think I'm rude because I rarely say that I'm sorry or accept apologies. What does accepting an apology do, anyway? It's just as masturbatory as apologizing itself. Look, if you did something to piss someone off, maybe you deserve to feel bad. And the real purpose of apologies and their acceptance is to make the wrongdoer feel better. That's just not my perogative. I'm not going to apologize because that doesn't fix anything except make me feel better in a superficial sort of way. So call me a bitch, you're not the first and you won't be the last. Just don't apologize later.
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| I don't write often. What can I say? I have no artistic streak. Ok, that's a lie, I'm just lazy. I feel the need to wax philosophical... let's go with my main area of interest: sex.
It's not like I view sex as something that doesn't matter, I don't find it cheap or meaningless. I think sex of all kinds is important. But that's just the thing: there are different kinds of sex. Believe it or not, kids, it's true. There's committed, relationship, love-sex, but there's also fun, hookup-sex. And both have their good and bad attributes. Love sex is an expression of how you feel. You have love sex because you're with someone you care about and you've reached a point with each other where you don't have to keep trying crazy stuff; you find a rhythm instantly and everything just flows from there (no pun intended). You look deeply into each other's eyes and enjoy feeling as physically close as possible. However, love sex isn't everything. I mean, you're having sex with the same person, night after night, which can get old no matter who it is. And if you get stuck in the love sex rut, you might not try new things for long periods of time. BORING! Enter hookup sex. Hookup sex is where you can really let go and try stuff you wouldn't try with someone whose opinion matters in the morning. Hookup sex is the ultimate ego boost: they're not sleeping with you because you're dating, they're sleeping with you because they want your hot body. Plus, you can be as selfish as you want to! And there's nothing wrong with looking out for #1 every once in awhile. In the end, you have to remember that all sex has value and all sex can be gratifying. Just don't try to limit it to only one kind. And remember kids: don't be a fool, wrap your tool.
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